We are Zartan…

Technically where the Dreadnoks. Zartan was just one dude.

This weekend I’m running with a team for season finalie of the American Endurance Racing season at Mid-Ohio.  I will be piloting a NASA legal second gen RX7 with a Buick 3800 V6. At the same event, staff from both Road & Track as well as Jalopnik,  are competing in identical BMW E30s decide which magazine is the best at racing.

The smack talk started earlier this week, first with this piece from Jalopnik, and then with this one from R&T.

The problem is they failed to mention us. I only bring that up because I’ve recently had two articles published on R&Ts website. Go ahead, read them, I’ll wait. 

Porsche 996 and Auto Auction.

Also on this team is Mark Baruth, another writer for R&T. There’s also his brother Jack, who writes the annual Performance Car of The Year issue. If anyone could actually be Zartan it would be him, aside from the fact that he’s the leader.He’s also got the hair. Finally, an editor at Road & Track, Sam Smith. 

All this gleeful smack talk neglecting our presence can only mean one thing, we don’t matter.

Oh but we do. Because our car simply faster and our drivers are simply better. So that makes us the Dreadnoks in the infamous G.I. Joe series about the weather dominator. We’re the wildcard. The unknown unknown. 

We’re here to fuck shit up, we’re here to kick ass and chew bubblegum. And we’re all out of bubblegum. Gonna snatch up that 3rd piece before anyone can say “what the?” 

Ants at the picnic, snakes on a plane, the fly in the ointment. Which really makes us like John McCain between the FBI and Clouse the terrorist. 

Just really a much better analogy, I mean under my current construct Jalopnik is actually G.I. Joe and COBRA is R&T. 

Yeah so forget that Zartan stuff, we’re like John McCain.

Yippie Ki Aye!


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