This might not be here long, a version is being submitted for another publication.
I am piloting a Porsche GT3 at COTA. A coworker is riding shotgun and I am chasing a Lamborgini Hurracan.
As a racer, you break each moments into smaller moments, and break that into smaller moments. This is how you expand time, climbing deeper into each space between each moment, and breaking that into smaller bits.
In the microsecond between the Hurracan exhaust’s cacophony and the 911 following suite completely without prompt, time suddenly slowed to a crawl. My mind fell into the space between the moments, time broke into smaller and smaller segments…
I am the offspring of a second marriage of two people who were married 3 times. The fabled “forgotten” middle child, raised as an only child in what they call a broken home. I believe that contributed to my vast imagination, and probably my tendency for distractions.
I had adults in my life, but I was somewhat removed from them, I don’t know if that was by choice or chance. I was often called a “weird kid,” but I remember how it didn’t bother me. I actually reveled in it. I believe I learned to be my own person because I didn’t know who to emulate, but it took me damm near 30 years.
It’s 44 years later, and I am still not complete in my developing my character. Who is? But charging into that Texas morning sun, in that moment, after 44 years on this planet I came to the realization of who I am…
I am a driver.
A driver by alliteration and by occupation. Ever forward, always scanning, critiquing, chasing. Looking for an opening and pushing. I look back only to clear my path forward, the windscreen is more important that the mirror.
A driver not by deed or destiny. A driver not by necessity or circumstance, but a driver by choice. I am not my father, I am not my mother.
I am me.
Luckily I was wearing sunglasses, because I felt tears in my eyes and I still had that coworker riding shotgun. I wasn’t ashamed, but I didn’t want to explain my joy, elation and explain the emotional journey I was experiencing. I wasn’t sure I could have even put it into words.
Instead, the smile came naturally. I basked in the moment. I silently thanked the creator for my friends, my family, my experiences and my wife.
Then I floored it. Because I am a driver, and my destiny awaits in the next corner.